


Suicide

by amixii10



Series: Angst [1]
Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Angst and Feels, Drug Use, Hurt No Comfort, Implied Sokka/Zuko (Avatar), M/M, Overdose, Past Sokka/Suki (Avatar), Suicide, Suicide Attempt, Suicide Notes, hes not really there tho, major feels, mention of Aang, seriously don’t read this unless you want to cry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-02
Updated: 2020-11-02
Packaged: 2021-03-08 21:20:15
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 967
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27353350
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/amixii10/pseuds/amixii10
Summary: Zuko can’t take it anymore. He overdoses, and Sokka finds him.
Series: Angst [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1997677
Comments: 2
Kudos: 25





	Suicide

**Author's Note:**

> sorry that this is so angsty... but hey. 
> 
> at least I’m posting something. 
> 
> anyways, this was low key based off of “Let you Down” by NF

‘God, sometimes I hate you so much. I don’t know why. And yet, other times, I think that you’re my best friend and my lover. I don’t fucking know anymore, okay? I’m so tired, I’m so tired of living, and I’m so tired of feeling inferior to you, and I’m tired of not being the number one. I’m sorry that I’m going to leave you, like a coward, but I hope that someday, you’ll understand why I’m doing what I’m doing. But I couldn’t handle it anymore, all of your comments about Azula, and your speculation about my scar when you thought I couldn’t hear. I heard how you don’t think shit of trans people. I’ve heard what you think of my family, and I know I’m not what you wanted. You just settled for me because Suki moved on- I was just the replacement. I’m sick and tired of it, but I hope that one day you’ll look back on me and think that you loved me. I’m sorry that I have to go. I wish that I could say I'm proud. I’m sorry that I let you down.’

Sokka feels the tears start to flow before he even looks up. The body was near the bathroom door, and he could see Zuko’s head hung to the side. He rushes forward to take a pulse, frantically searching. 

There was none. 

He tries to administer CPR and breath resuscitation, but after 5 minutes, he stops. 

He manages to call the nearest hospital before the panic and horror starts to set in. 

‘I did this. I did this, and it’s all my fault that Zuko’s gone, and now he’s never going to come back.’ 

He sits on the floor, next to his body, clasping Zuko’s hand. The tears fall freely, and he feels the true effects of Zuko’s note get to him. 

‘He was right. I never should have said that or thought that. I knew about Azula, I knew about how she died, so how could I say those things? How could I have been so naive, so stupid? God, I wish I could turn back time.’ 

A sob escapes him, and Sokka loses himself. They wrack his body, and Sokka feels the pain like never before. He had never had to deal with grief, not the kind that makes you feel like this.

He picks up his phone with trembling hands and calls Katara. She picks up after the first ring. 

“Hey, Sokka, I have a class in two minutes, so can you make this quick?” 

Sokka can’t say anything- Zuko was dead because of him, and Katara was worrying about school? How could she? 

“Sokka?” she asks after a moment of silence. 

Sokka clears his throat, pushing away the fact that his tongue felt like lead or the fact that his face was still contorted in pain and grief, or that his hands were clammy and the phone was slipping. 

“Sokka, are you-“ 

“He’s dead. He’s dead, and it’s all my fault, he’s dead and I couldn’t stop it! I’m such a shitty fucking person, I killed him! If I hadn’t said those things, he would still be alive and-”

Katara’s voice is panicked. “What? Who’s dead? Did you call the hospital?” 

He sobs again, being reminded of the cold, dead hand in his own. 

“Yes! I called them, I tried CPR, I tried breath resurrection, I did! But now they’re not here, and Zuko had no pulse, and it’s my- it’s all my fucking fault!” 

Katara’s breathing becomes unsteady on the other line. “Okay, I’m calling a taxi, and I’ll be there in 5 minutes, okay?” 

Sokka nods, then responds verbally. 

“Can you hold on until then? We might be able to save him.” 

“I don’t know, Katara, I’m trying- I’m trying so hard not to just break down more than I already have. Plea-please get here as soon as you can.” 

He shakily cuts the call, and when he sees Zuko’s body again, he bursts into tears. 

He pulls the body into his arms, hugging it like he did two days ago. 

“I didn’t even know you were depressed, Zuko, why didn’t you talk to anyone? Why didn’t you talk to Katara or Aang? I know what your family was going through, I knew what happened to Azula, why did I say those things? God, I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, Zuko. I’m so, so sorry.” 

The medics find him like that, clutching Zuko’s cold body to his chest, and the crumpled note and his phone tightly in his hands. 

They gently pry them apart and immediately take Zuko to the hospital. One of them is kind enough to help Sokka find his car and drive him to the hospital. 

Katara finds him seated in the visitors’ room, eyes bloodshot and dry, his hands clenching onto the armrest of the chair. 

She doesn’t say anything, but instead just pulls him into her arms and holds him tight. 

“I’m sorry that we let him down.” 

“You were there for him. I wasn’t. I’m a shitty person, no, I’m a terrible person, and he died because of me and my stupid fucking comments.”

“Hey, no. Don’t think that.” 

“How can you say that?” he yells, the words spilling out of his mouth like venom. “You weren’t there when I found the body. You- have you even read the note he left behind?”

She had pulled away when he started shouting. She shakes her head at his question, and he wordlessly hands her the wadded up ball of paper. 

He goes into his shell of shock that Katara found him in. 

He doesn’t register the sob that comes from his sister when she finishes the note. 

“I’m sorry, Zuko. I’m so sorry that I let you down.”

**Author's Note:**

> If you made it this far, comments and kudos are greatly appreciated.


End file.
